I begin with apprehension; this could be one of the most confusing writing rigours I have ever given myself, and could be an equally confusing read for you. But I see clarity in one thought / objective - I am not writing about music, I am not writing about Ilaiyaraaja; I am writing about my love for a man. Or about my devotion to a man.
This man. Ilaiyaraaja.
Just like God, Ilaiyaraaja has been one of the most significant constants in my life.
If I was in love with a girl, He was there teaching my heart to love. If I was fantasising about someone, He was there telling my mind to rove and indulge. If I was gloomy, and my every breath depressed; He broke into my mind and silenced my negativities. If I was feeling miserable, He clogged my throat, flushed my eyes, and helped me break down only to emerge like a pregnant woman after having delievered a still born, realising that she cant do anything about it, and she has to move on in life, with life. If I felt victorious, He helped me celebrate, if I felt dejected, He helped me see reason, fueled me to recover and inspired me to redeem; and if I was plain freaking bored, He helped me chill out!
*****
As I write this, Ilaiyaraaja could be making music in his studio (Prasad Studios, Vadapalani), located 15 minutes from my house. That place could definitely be the Mecca of Music for millions of Music lovers around the Globe - majority of them Tamil speakers and all of them, South Indians.
In reality, that place is not just the Mecca for music lovers. It is a womb. A sacred womb, where love was born for many people; and the most sepulchral of graveyards, where miseries ended for many. This is where I think we can define God. God is, the phenomenon, that makes us realise ourselves when any of World's forces, that swells our heart to unproportional sizes, crushes our senses mindlessly, also descends our conscience into thinking - "Waah! What pure Ecstasy." This force could be love, success, or just any random euphoria. The force is common for all, its more a cyclic force. But God differs. I love Ilaiyaraaja as much as I love my God - That God who whispered into my ears the secret of realising myself.
*****
And just like God, Ilaiyaraaja has been one of the most significant constants in my life.
Thank you, Lord, for giving me this man.
7 comments:
While I can praise the unbelievably new concept that you have come up with and admire your writing, I beg to differ with the content. Arguements have no end as far as this topic is concerned but listen up once again. Ilayaraja might be owning the Mecca for music lovers, but where Allah Himself resides is in Rahman!!
"Thank you lord, for giving me this man."
Ilayaraja told Me jus now, To've you as a rasiga.
And you were right. The music itself equalled the writing.
@ Siddhu: Why dont you glorify Rahman in a similar manner!? It would be a clinching tribute to both the maestros from their hardest of fans!
@Durga: Devotion is always one way! Thanks, anyways!
I almost comitted blasphemy as I didnt follow the instructions stated at the top of the post. However a nice shout down later (well almost) I came back to read the post and leave a comment (Just as I promised). Well Sesha, it was a wonderful piece of writing!! Ur experiment paid off!! :) Borrowing (and tweaking) Durga's lines: The writng itself equalled the music:) great piece of work!:)
Nandita Nair!! You dont want to make it sound like you were tortured into commenting!
Thanks, all the same!
The way you have put it is simply awesome..
Ilayaraja has always given soul to music, and this is exactly why is songs weren't just songs for movies, but were effervescent with life.. :)
Cheers!
Though I grew up listening to Illayaraja's music (since 1985 or so), I began to understand his music as recently as 2003. Since then it has been an amazing journey for me backwards listening to masterpieces again and again and again. Nice to see a blog dedicated to the genius. Looking forward to more posts on the Masetro.
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